So my life has been in turmoil since I wrote in here last. I came out of a realtionship where I was domestically abused for 3 years on and off. Then from there I dated a guy whom fucked me on my birthday and didn't care if I starved to death... So I did... and then after that I started binge drinking and taking hard drugs for about 3-4 months.. I finaly got my wakeup call when I almost died 2 times int he past month. I was being a little pimp with guys and just drinking away my education and PAIN. Instead of comming to an understanding of whom I'm... i just gave up... I tried commiting suicide 3 months ago.. to no avail... and I have the scarification to always remeber that occasion.
anyways now I have a boyfriend whom loves me... he hasn't said it but I can tell... and we have been together for a total of abut 1 week...coming on two...
Well anyways I made my goals but then I got kinda happy with a guy and he convinced me to eat a little more; and with my will power I decided to enjoy a little for a week. I'm right now taking the power back, not like it really went that far from its goal but you know any little slip of the power feels like an eternity....I suck at spelling oh well.... anyways yeah I have been bashing myself a lot lately bacause I can feel all of my fat. I guess I need to get off the computer and move more, and eat less..calories,,,,,,blah.. I guess make more thinspo use my journel more.... I'm gonna do that starting today.....
It always seems like I have so many things in my path, Priorities PEOPLE.....lol